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December 27, 2005

Holiday Survival Tips

Tip #2 - Saying “No” Graciously

Women are notorious for never saying “no,” especially to those things that are the most detrimental to their own peace. I’m not talking about the “fellers” that Ado Annie in Oklahoma “Cain’t say no” to. I mean the teeth gritting “okay” that we’ve all handed out in the interest of “keeping the peace.”

This holiday don’t say “yes” when you feel like saying “no.” Family and friends won’t stop liking you because you enforce a boundary. So when Uncle Festus states, “you don’t mind if I light this up” as the struck match is on its way to the smelliest stogy imaginable, simply say, “yes, I do mind your lighting that up in the house – you can smoke in the garage or outside.” Smile and move on – don’t get caught up in righteous indignation – after all, you’ve just solved the problem!

Here’s an article that describes the power of saying “no” - it does take some practice to get it right!

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Posted by Gina V. on December 27, 2005 | Permalink


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Saying "no" recently saved me from an abusive relationship. Each time I appropraitely asserted my boundaries I re-stated my individuality, which was being diminished imperceptibly, inch by inch, day by day. Every time I did screw up the courage to say "no" to his abusive words and behaviours he would threaten to call our wedding off - that did not stop me. The last time I did say "no" to his behaviour, he was verbally attacking my mother whom he had not yet met (or even spoken to on the phone). Even though it was painful at first when he left, I realized that saying "no" had spared me a life of pain with this man. Saying "no" in this situation was better than pepper spray to scare him off. "NO" helps us weed out those who respect and care for us from those who don't. "No" is not just a stress reducer, but a life saver. Thanks for featuring this little gem of a word in your blog.

Posted by: sigrid | Dec 27, 2005 9:29:39 PM

Thanks for your comment Sigrid. "No" clearly is one of the biggest words in the English language. Congratulations on using it successfully.

Posted by: Gina V | Dec 28, 2005 10:32:57 AM

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